wondering

Early this morning, i went to the gym and exercised a little. I used the threadmill and brisk walked for about 40 mins with a speed of 2.5 to 3.5. I started in a speed of 2 for 5 mins until I reached 3.5 speed and briskwalked for about 20mins. After that I did the lifting for the arms and breast with a count of 1 to 10. Then I used the machine for legs. The last machine I used was the stepper, which I used for only 2 mins. When I stopped, my heart was pounding very fast, then a minute later, I got dizzy, my vision got blurred, and my whole body was feeling numb. At that time, I knew I will gonna puked. With my body not feeling well, I ran to the bathroom and when I reached the toilet bowl, I vomitted. I really felt weak... My whole body was sweating with cold water and trembling at the same time. Don't know why it happened to me. It was the second time since I came here in America. I am just thinking maybe it happened because I lacked in exercise. What I am doing here are just eating, sleeping, dish washing, washing the clothes and cooking. Plus the fact that I seldom laugh here... Maybe my heart is a little sad... Because, first, my husband always shout at me, even to the petty things or small things he will become angry and shout at me, which he will never do to his sister. 2nd, to the fact that I really don't want to live here... sigh.. my husband really don't understand me at all. so what i am doing is I do all the understanding for him.

I wish he will love me so much. He will wish for my happiness. And he will respect me. How I wish he will decide for our own sake and make decision not based from his sister. How I wish...

S.M.R.