Early this morning, i went to the gym and exercised a little. I used the threadmill and brisk walked for about 40 mins with a speed of 2.5 to 3.5. I started in a speed of 2 for 5 mins until I reached 3.5 speed and briskwalked for about 20mins. After that I did the lifting for the arms and breast with a count of 1 to 10. Then I used the machine for legs. The last machine I used was the stepper, which I used for only 2 mins. When I stopped, my heart was pounding very fast, then a minute later, I got dizzy, my vision got blurred, and my whole body was feeling numb. At that time, I knew I will gonna puked. With my body not feeling well, I ran to the bathroom and when I reached the toilet bowl, I vomitted. I really felt weak... My whole body was sweating with cold water and trembling at the same time. Don't know why it happened to me. It was the second time since I came here in America. I am just thinking maybe it happened because I lacked in exercise. What I am doing here are just eating, sleeping, dish washing, washing the clothes and cooking. Plus the fact that I seldom laugh here... Maybe my heart is a little sad... Because, first, my husband always shout at me, even to the petty things or small things he will become angry and shout at me, which he will never do to his sister. 2nd, to the fact that I really don't want to live here... sigh.. my husband really don't understand me at all. so what i am doing is I do all the understanding for him.
I wish he will love me so much. He will wish for my happiness. And he will respect me. How I wish he will decide for our own sake and make decision not based from his sister. How I wish...
S.M.R.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Boredom
hay... I do feel sad since yesterday... I wanna go back home in the Philippines. Nasasakal n ako d2!. I want my old life back. I want to be the happy person as I was before. I want a job that can support all my needs and wants. I want job with salary so I can buy all the things I want to give to all my siblings without relying to my husband's money. And I want my own house! I don't want being nagged by my husband in front of her sister! This past few days he always raised his voice to me. The most things I hate doing to me and yet he always do that. I can easily accept that if I am the only one hearing those high voice but he did it that can be heard by her sister. And I really feel humiliated!. I don't know, since we moved here with her sister, I feel that I am not being respected by him at all. I feel that all I need to do is to serve and please him since he is the one working. He is the one making income for us to be able to eat. To live. Right now, I feel depressed of what is happening to me. I know he may be alright now because he never anticipate what I am going to feel or what I am going through right now. He never ask if I am ok. He don't even say sorry for the things he know that can hurt my feelings. It seems that my feeling for him is fading. I am hurting, I am enduring all this things he is doing to me. I am always praying to God to give me enough strength to carry all this test, to have faith to HIM that I can surpass all this things. Because, I am slowly giving up. I am bleeding inside. I am not happy anymore. I am not...
Lord God, please help me overcome all this things.. I cannot do this alone. I need your guidance... I need you Oh Lord.. please help me to cheer up and ignore what my husband did to me that make me feel this way. Please Lord God help me to be strong all this time. Please Lord God.
S.M.R.
Lord God, please help me overcome all this things.. I cannot do this alone. I need your guidance... I need you Oh Lord.. please help me to cheer up and ignore what my husband did to me that make me feel this way. Please Lord God help me to be strong all this time. Please Lord God.
S.M.R.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Good News good news..
Hello there!
It's my first blog here in my sister-in-law's apartment. Hubby and I moved here last April 1. It's been 2 weeks since then. I had a difficult adjustment time. At first I really don't want to live here, what I want is for us to rent our own apartment like we did in Tempe. But because of some financial issue, Hubby decided to live here together with her sister for us all to save money and all the expenses. And so, we are here now, living peacefully together.
During the first week of our stay here, it's kinda awkward because, Hubby and I don't have our own room, so when, sister-in-law and her flatmate does not have duty, we will be sleeping in the living room. And when they have duty or sister-in-law have duty, we will be sleeping in her room. It's just that moving here and there were a little bit tough. And when they are both here, during the morning, they are sleeping, and during the night, they are awake. I cannot do the laundry during the morning because of that reason. And I am not allowed to make loud sound or play the radio loudly. The whole day will be like a lullaby for me. It will lull me to sleep.
However, today, we have our own room now. The master's bedroom. Her roommate went back for a 7-week vacation to the Philippines. And with that, I can watch movies, play music without using earphone! hehe.. It's kinda relief. We even have our own bathroom and walk-in closet. It makes things for us easier. Thank you Lord.
Today, when I woke up, I went to the bathroom to pee. Then checked my laptop to find out it's battery was dead. So I picked my laptop and brought in the kitchen to have it charged while I was preparing Hubby's breakfast and sandwich for lunch. While cooking, I was checking my mail and chikka simultaneously, there goes the good news!. Ms Weng told me that she is already pregnant! I am so happy about that!, then popped another message from Malu, another goodNews, Mia is also pregnant!... Hubby and I are very happy to hear about that goodnews...
hopefully, in the coming months, I'm gonna tell them that I too is pregnant! hehehe..
I am overwhelmed with GoodNews. Another GoodNews!, Hubby's H1B visa is already approved! it means we can stay here for another 3 more years without worry about our status. And I can change my visa as well and with God's Grace and Mercy, I will be employed this year once my visa changed. I will leave all this things in God's Almighty Hands. The pregancy issue and my visa and work.. I know there are a lot of Good things God prepared for us. And with that I thank you Lord God...
Thank you Lord for all the Good News...
Love,
S.M.R.
It's my first blog here in my sister-in-law's apartment. Hubby and I moved here last April 1. It's been 2 weeks since then. I had a difficult adjustment time. At first I really don't want to live here, what I want is for us to rent our own apartment like we did in Tempe. But because of some financial issue, Hubby decided to live here together with her sister for us all to save money and all the expenses. And so, we are here now, living peacefully together.
During the first week of our stay here, it's kinda awkward because, Hubby and I don't have our own room, so when, sister-in-law and her flatmate does not have duty, we will be sleeping in the living room. And when they have duty or sister-in-law have duty, we will be sleeping in her room. It's just that moving here and there were a little bit tough. And when they are both here, during the morning, they are sleeping, and during the night, they are awake. I cannot do the laundry during the morning because of that reason. And I am not allowed to make loud sound or play the radio loudly. The whole day will be like a lullaby for me. It will lull me to sleep.
However, today, we have our own room now. The master's bedroom. Her roommate went back for a 7-week vacation to the Philippines. And with that, I can watch movies, play music without using earphone! hehe.. It's kinda relief. We even have our own bathroom and walk-in closet. It makes things for us easier. Thank you Lord.
Today, when I woke up, I went to the bathroom to pee. Then checked my laptop to find out it's battery was dead. So I picked my laptop and brought in the kitchen to have it charged while I was preparing Hubby's breakfast and sandwich for lunch. While cooking, I was checking my mail and chikka simultaneously, there goes the good news!. Ms Weng told me that she is already pregnant! I am so happy about that!, then popped another message from Malu, another goodNews, Mia is also pregnant!... Hubby and I are very happy to hear about that goodnews...
hopefully, in the coming months, I'm gonna tell them that I too is pregnant! hehehe..
I am overwhelmed with GoodNews. Another GoodNews!, Hubby's H1B visa is already approved! it means we can stay here for another 3 more years without worry about our status. And I can change my visa as well and with God's Grace and Mercy, I will be employed this year once my visa changed. I will leave all this things in God's Almighty Hands. The pregancy issue and my visa and work.. I know there are a lot of Good things God prepared for us. And with that I thank you Lord God...
Thank you Lord for all the Good News...
Love,
S.M.R.
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